Day Five

Continued with work on my two "companies" today. I think the bad idea is going to be a lot easier than the good infomercial idea. I don't know why it always works out that way, where easy shit isn't as good. So dumb...or ironic...or something that sucks. It's also been a week since our last day of work and I can't even remember people's names at that office anymore. Not even sure I could describe what I did.
Instead of picking up a book I decided to go watch My Bloody Valentine in 3D. Yep, retarded and awesome at the same time.

The Great Gatsby?

I decided to read The Great Gatsby for inspiration -- I know I was supposed to read it in high school but pretty sure I just rented the movie.  Thinking I would be inspired by stories of youth, wealth and awesomeness, I was in for quite a shock.  Why is it that every American literary classic is so depressing -- Gone with the wind, To kill a mockingbird etc.  Don't get me wrong its a great book but I hope my life of riches and parties doesn't turn out like that.  

Day Four

Today I decided I'm going to start a couple of companies. I have an idea for a good infomercial product and another pretty bad idea. But some woman who reads tarot cards once told me I'd have an empire when I "grew up". Those chics are never wrong so I figure it can't hurt to start now. I google'd factories that might be able to make my product and got distracted 5 minutes into it. I think people that start businesses must not have internet connections or cable. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I'm thinking of today as warm-up.

I also ended some cleanse diet that I started three days ago. It's supposed to give your liver a break, which mine might maybe need, but I've decided it's just dumb.

Day Three

Went to the gym this morning. I think going to the gym is an important part of not wasting away during one's 'sabatical'. I keep wondering what all the trophy wives at the gym think about me. Do they think the one dude at the gym on weekdays at 11:00am is self-employed (and therefor goes whenever he wants) or do I have "I have no job" tatooed on my forehead? Some of them are kind of hot in a cougar kind of way so I'm hoping they think the former. 

Speaking of oldness and fake boobs, saw the biography of Hugh Hefner on the Biography channel (top 5 channels of all time). He started Playboy at 27 because after going to an event at his old high school he realized he wasn't living the life he had imagined for himself. Hugh Hefner is now my new idol. After Spencer.

Government wins, I give up and head to DC to handle this is person

Yea, right.  I'm here to party.  

After setting my alarm for 8am to call the unemployment office and getting the same spiel they gave Aldous -- "try next week at which time we know you will have completely forgotten about this (damn, they know me so well) I decided to get on the train to DC.  One of my "employed" friends is at a meeting at the Mandarin Oriental so I figured I would come down and see how many free hotel services I can take advantage of.  Also hoping to be discovered by some congressman looking for someone to parade as the face of the "new unemployed" or maybe I can conveniently place myself in the front row of a rally and let the prez know that I need a job. 

Unemployment Insurance Part Deux

Just got through to a sort of live person. She asked me the same questions I had already answered online, so not sure what value she brought. She must be part of the stimulus package. I also found out there's a week-long waiting period. Must be to pressure people to get a job. Good luck with that strategy.

Day Two

Waking up at a decent time is pretty hard when you don't have to go to work. I'm trying to stick to an 8am wake up because sleeping in can be a slippery slope. You start sleeping in until noon and not going to bed until 2am.  Next thing you know you start going out a lot just to fill that empty time.  A few weeks into it you find yourself waking up in a gutter with a one-legged chic next to you. A friend told me that that really happens.

Unemployment Insurance

So I've been paying 45% of my income to the government and when it comes time to get some of it back in the form of unemployment checks I realize the government blows. They recommend you call in every 15 minutes Monday through Friday to file your claim. I think the strategy is to keep the line busy long enough so you give up or decide to get a new job. I'll show you government, I'll call at least a few more times before giving up. 

Day One

Day one of official unemployment and loving it.